yesterday i was back at nus. when i was within its premises, it felt like i never left.
took the paths which i used to take while hurrying along to class, feeling rushed and annoyed at being late. but yesterday the feeling was so different. i felt happy and carefree walking along. i look at the shuttle buses driving past and reminisce the times where i would be sick and annoyed at waiting for them and getting on board them. i see the places i used to hang out in, and i get sad because those were the places that gave me the best 4 years of my life. while i was there, i also took a short stroll through my faculty. i remember the short cuts, the little paths that wind in and would allow me to emerge somewhere else in the school building. i sawthe familiar sights, the same old benches where we used to sit at to work on our projects, and the bittersweet familiarity of everything comes rushing back. :( :( :(
i miss school so much. i miss the experiences, i miss the people, i miss the food, i just miss being a student. but life has to go on.
my writing sucks. haha :( sorry, it’s hard to put it in words but oh wellz.
Good morning world.
I miss school, I miss NUS, I miss the freedom and the friends I used to spend my time with in school. I’ve always felt that my 4 years in NUS were the most fun I’ve ever had.
I’m working now - in an office, 9-to-5 desk job - not literally 9 to 5 because technically I start work at 8:30 and finish at 6 so…. that’s a total of 1.5 hours more at work. Lol. It’s been 2 weeks - today marks the start of my 3rd week actually. But I still feel out of place - I feel like I don’t fit in, and I don’t feel happy at all. I haven’t had anyone to lean on yet, to have a hearty conversation with yet, to bond with yet. Is that bad? I think I should remain positive - just be myself, and when it is time to fit in, I will. But I think that it is slightly painful to always be stuck alone in a cubicle - with no one to talk to, except through a phone, through a computer. The only time of decent human interact are during lunchtimes. And lunchtimes are okay… I get to talk to people, but I don’t think we connect much? After all, it’s just 1 hour of eating and small-talk.
To my most awesome friends that I’ve made while being in college, I miss the days where we spend our time working on reports/projects/eating lunch together and spending the night (almost) in school. I miss the times where we sat in class, fighting the sleep monster. I honestly wish that you guys miss these times too - but in a good way, an endearing way and in a bittersweet way - not like mine. Mine’s…. a kind of missing that would border on being negative.
Think my writing skills suck. Haha, but I guess I feel better now. Sorta. I was so eager to get a job, to start working, felt so happy getting a job. I am grateful. But I just wish it could be better.